Valley Perl is a syntax-compatible perl variant by Platypus and Vruba c. 1998.

• print = be like
• printf = be all like
• die = barf
• ; = y’know
• chomp = shut uuup
• crypt = be all like whisper whisper
• oct = um, do you count on your thumbs too?
• undef = um, what?
• open = check out that total studmuffin file!
• $ENV = the Mall